Becoming a "Mama"

Returning home from my first project in Uganda, I loved to talk about my experience to anyone and everyone who would listen. My favorite topic: the kids. 

On my second trip, I made one promise to my mom, “I won’t bring back any babies”.

Working in a children’s home, keeping that promise was much harder than expected.

In the past month, I have spent over 150 hours with the staff and children of Sanyu Babies’ Home. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the very messy. My heart has been full and broken, often in the same day.

I’ve tried to ignore the fact that this is my last week here, but the staff continue to let me know how much they and the kids are going to miss me. I inform them that it makes leaving much easier (not).

The respect I have for these caretakers grows everyday. They are full time mothers to their own children in addition to the fifty at Sanyu. Their lives are anything but sunshine and they can come off cold. It’s hard to grow attached to children, volunteers, and others who make brief appearances in their lives. 

About halfway through my stay at Sanyu, they began to call me, “Mama Hannah Maria”.  I laughed at first, thought they were mimicking the kids who called me, “Mama (H)annah”, but soon learned it was a sign of respect. I worked alongside them, I came to know them, and I came to love them just as I love those children.

I know I am in no position to take care of a child; emotionally, financially, etc. As a newly turned 21 year-old, it is arguable if I can even take care of myself. There is one little boy, though, who made me question all of that. Here’s a bit of his story,

 “He was born to a 13 year old girl. He was conceived out of rape by the biological father of the 13 yr old girl who is currently imprisoned. When the father was imprisoned, all the relatives put the blame on the little 13 yr old girl and so they disowned her. They chased her away from home and she was cared for by ****** Crisis Pregnancy center until he was born. The family has signed legal documentation expressing wishes to not have contact with the child.”

My heart is heavy. 

*update soon to come*